The Harshest Gaze
No we’re not talking about the rishta aunties, we’re not talking about potential partners, nor are we talking about the strangers you see turning their heads to get a better look. It’s you, you are your own harshest critic and the one with the most prickling gaze.
Don’t worry, this is not another one of our love yourself rants (even though you should, because gurrlll look at you!!) but this one is rather about how sometimes we, ourselves, are responsible for bringing ourselves down the most.
We all know that one person with flawless skin that can not stop complaining about that one insignificant detail like their pores or that one blackhead on their nose that no one notices and let’s be honest most days you just feel like smacking them across the face and yell, “ HAVE YOU SEEN THE CRATERS ON MY FACE?!?”
All jokes apart, those little inconveniences on someone else’s face that may seem insignificant to you may seem VERY big to that someone. You may think that it’s no big deal but you don’t know the relationship that person has with their skin and you being on the outside can not comprehend the magnitude of the problem. Similarly, when you get that zit on your forehead that looks like you’re growing a face on your face, remember that it’s not as bad as it seems to you AND no one is looking at it like you are. You’re probably standing in front of the mirror super close up, zooming in on that poor fellow while the world around you doesn’t have the time or energy to do that. So the only person making that zit a huge problem is, sorry to inform you, you honey.
So here are things you can learn to be easier on yourself
Step away from the mirror
It’s simple in theory but it holds alot more to it. Stepping away from the mirror means to step away from the idea of knowing what you look like all the time. We know vanity is important and you can’t take it away from yourself completely but sometimes it’s healthier to not care what you look like to other people. This gives you time to appreciate other brilliant attributes of your personality and clears out sooo much mental baggage that you carry about.
Have your own back
Yeap, this is where it gets tricky. So, for example, you get all dressed up and you feel super pretty and confident until you catch a glimpse of your textured skin or that new pimple that's starting to grow on your forehead and you can feel your confidence wavering, that little voice in your head starts telling you to just ditch the whole event and that all of the effort for nothing. This is the time when you need to be there for yourself, this is the time you need to tell yourself that this is all in your head, that you actually are a beautiful capable human being and you deserve to feel confident.
Ask a Trusty friend
If all else fails, turn to a friend who you trust and whose opinion matters to you. Ask them if you look ok or if that zit is as big of a problem as you think it is. Listen to what they say and BELIEVE IT! Most likely they’ll tell you that it’s not as bad as you think it is and reassure you with their words. It’s okay to be vulnerable infront of people you trust.
Cut yourself some slack
Give yourself some well deserved credit and go easy on yourself. It’s hard to be at battle with oneself all the time, so step back and relax from time to time. Reassure yourself with kind words that you keep saved for other people. In your head, don’t just criticize yourself for your shortcomings but commend yourself for your little achievements too, like, you fought the urge to pop that pimple today? GOOD ON YOU! You skipped concealer today? GURLL YASS!
We know that all this is easier said than done but all you need to do is try, we’re here rooting for you. Remember that you’re not alone in this, we’re all always too hard on ourselves.