What not to say (to people with acne)
Now we’re sure y’all have been there when you’re going about your life minding your own business and someone, for no apparent reason, comes up to you with ANOTHER “totka” or remedy that will magically “fix” your acne.
It’s really not that bad you say? People have it worse? We agree but why is it necessary to comment on anyone’s appearance? Why is that even a thing? Have you considered maybe just maybe the person whose skin you find so incredibly unacceptable is actually okay with the way they look? (yes self-love is a thing for people with acne too, look it up!) OR maybe they’re already getting it checked by a professional and don’t need reminding of it every 5 minutes, thank you very much!
You know the worst thing is that sometimes you ( yes you, who promotes self-love and all skin is beautiful skin, you) can catch yourself doing it too, to your close friend who got a new zit and that cousin that just started breaking out! (we all do it, no denying it). Why do we do that? Because it’s so ingrained in our minds that acne needs “fixing”, that having acne is a terrible but temporary stage of life that you HAVE TO get out of as soon as possible, with minimum damage and never ever look back!
But the sad truth is some people struggle with acne for a long time and sometimes all their lives and that’s okay and it’s okay to look like you once had acne (ever heard of battlescars?) So why chase this impossible idea perfection? And most of all why push it upon other people too?
But we get it, sometimes people that are close to us and care about us can do it too, and we know they’re coming from a place of love so we made a little guide for people that actually really care;
So here’s a list of things that you can avoid saying to people with acne;
Yes, I’m looking at you desi aunties.
Yes, we’ve tried putting honey on it and no, we don’t want to put our saliva on it!
Here’s the thing, we don’t need it! Why? Because we’ve tried it all already! Those desi totkas? Those youtube hacks? That mask your nani swears by? Yeap, all of it and we still look like this? Yeap. sorry to disappoint you with our skin.
But still if you can’t hold yourself back from recommending that one product that absolutely changed your life, the politest way to do so is to ask first ( Consent? What a revolutionary concept!). Ask if it’s okay for you to recommend something but don’t forget adding there’s nothing wrong with the way we look and top it off with a compliment. Tada.
The Diet police
Do you drink enough water? You drink too much chai! Quit coffee, it’ll save you skin!
Acne triggers are a thing, they’re real but figuring them out is so difficult! Even when you know what yours are, you can’t know for sure. It's a tiresome and tedious mental task to keep track of your whole routine to figure out what exactly made the acne gods so benevolent upon us. Amidst all of this calculating, the last thing we need is someone pointing out that the donut we’re eating can cause more acne.
Live and let live people. Let us eat that cheeseburger and have that hot chocolate because after all the mental notes on acne do's and don’ts we have running in our heads, we sure deserve it.
The “bechari” speech
The worst of them all, the haw haye’s, the poor you’s and the dreaded “but your skin used to be great before”.
Don’t be sorry for us, we’re surely not. We’re fully functioning human beings and the way we look is a tiny tiny part of who we are. Acne/acne scars are something that we’re struggling with but that doesn’t mean we feel less than anyone. Yes, sometimes the insecurities get to us but who doesn’t have bad days, right? So, walk along with your clear skin and your pitiful gaze, we don’t need it.
Filters, facetune and foundation
Oh honey, we know you can see our acne in the last Instagram post and no, we don’t want to hide it.
Assuming that we don’t know of foundations and concealers that can cover up our acne and scars perfectly or that we don’t know of filters that can give perfect skin instantly is just ignorant. We know of all those methods and more. Some of us conceal our acne and some of us don’t, and it’s okay to do either without anyone’s approval. We don’t want to be judged for hiding or not hiding our skin. It’s a double edged knife anyway, if you don’t hide it, it’s disgusting, if you do, you’re insecure. There is no winning. So the best thing you can provide a person with acne is indifference. Indifference towards their acne, that shouldn’t be so hard.